I haven’t posted much here over the past months. But I’m back… for a quick post before disappearing down a rabbit hole again.
The past year (plus) has been a rough ride; first Covid-19 hit, with lockdowns, restrictions, and anxiety. Lots of anxiety. You know. You were there too. It’s been hard on all of us. For many creatives, it’s been hard to concentrate. To be honest, 2020 was a complete write off (pardon the pun) for me, and my book.
As 2020 progressed, my health crumbled – first with my existing chronic pain, then recurring breathing issues, and utter exhaustion. I put on a lot (and I mean A LOT) of weight (partly due to health issues, partly due to stress and comfort eating). My breathing issues got worse – culminating in the need for assistance at night (via a CPAP machine.)
The new year approached. The pain got worse. I ended up in hospital with yet another scare (most likely a panic attack… but…) Something had to give.
I’ve been working hard since then. I’m eating healthier. Getting some exercise. I’ve lost 25 kg. My breathing has improved (at least during the day). I rescheduled the tentative publication date for my current WIP novel, A Fey Tale, and hunkered down to finish it. A mammoth task. The first draft ballooned out to almost 100,000 words (book 1 was 65,000), so I have to cut at least 20,000 words. I kept going, and finally it seemed I was winning. Even then, this book will be longer than book one. I’ll have to rethink the RRP – more pages, means increased print and post cost. Those who’ve already pre-ordered got a good deal.
But, when was it ever that easy?
Just over a month ago, it all started to fall apart. Again. First, bad news about a family member. (Cancer sucks!) Emotional hell. My iron levels fell. More exhaustion. Drop in concentration. The writing slowed to a trickle. Next, pains in my chest (how does one tell what’s ‘usual’ with floating chronic pain, stabbing and muscle cramps), and a weird thrumming pain in my chest muscles. Trip number 2 to the hospital, a doctor’s referral, and I’m at the cardiologist.
And now I’m off for more tests and a 24-hour heart monitor. Something about atrial fibrillation… Needs checking. Is my anaemia contributing? Is the breathing machine adding to the issue?
Cue even more anxiety. LOTS of anxiety. All the tea and chocolate in the world won’t help this one.
So that’s where I’m at now. I have appointments every day this week. More next week. Second Covid vaccination on Saturday. A necessity if the diagnosis holds true. (Some background on Covid and atrial fibrillation) (Feckin’ Covid. Please wear a mask!)
And why am I posting all this?
Because you all deserve an explanation. I feel I’ve let my readers down. I’m struggling to work through rewrites of A Fey Tale. I am getting there. Slowly. Very slowly.
I’d hoped to have paperbacks ready for September’s Adelaide Steampunk Festival but, in reality (and especially if the test results aren’t good), it doesn’t look likely at this point. I’ve posted updates to my Patreon supporters, and those who pre-ordered the book. I’ll try, but there’s only so many (non-exhausted) hours in the day.
So there it is. My life at the moment.
I can’t apologise enough. I hope you’ll forgive me.
